Go easy on the questions

It's all too normal to want to know stuff about your date but for every question you ask, especially on a first date, be sure to ask yourself if it was as all necessary.

You see, too many questions can ruin the moment.

As if you'd fail to appreciate the moment enough to enjoy it without shooting your mouth on overdrive.

Lawyers tend to impress a jury with their questions but since this particular context is that of a date, acting like an inquisitive jerk will backfire, badly.

Even if your date wants to please you with answers, it'll quickly get tiresome to be drilled with everything from "where are from" to "where to, from this point on", not to mention the sillier questions pertaining to taste and preferences.

In a more relaxed scenario, the answer to most questions will just pop here and there in a civilized conversation between people getting to know each other.

No pressure will works wonders. A first date already has enough stress, why play the annoying thousand questions game when it can just flow naturally through a slower paced exchange?

When it's time to ask a question, you'll know but don't get ahead of yourself trying to know everything, the wrong "questions galore" way.

If you were to ask questions, be sure to listen to the answers so you can make good use of them to make your date more comfortable. Pick up on the details and do the extra mile to make the moment, well, somewhat coherent with the answers.

So questions, yes but going easy will likely shine a positive light on you.

Looking your best for a date

We all have dating stories gone bad because fo irritants to our senses coming from the other participant who, for some reason, decided to "go light" on the cleanliness of their self or of their wearables.

Whatever the story, it's a set of memories that don't fade because the first meet-up is such an important moment so when it goes wrong, even in a small way, it's doesn't usually lead to a second date.

So get your ducks in a row and prepare properly for your date!

First item on the menu: you.

Yes, you.

If your physical and mental states aren't up to speed for that date, it'll likely ruin everything else so make sure to clear out your problems (nobody wants to hear about those, unless they ask, specifically), get some significant sleep (it'll show in your face that you're "ready") and have enough time to suit up and get to the meeting location, on time.

So you've covered the "you" part.

Good work!

Now the "you" needs to be looking its best so pick up the right attire for the meet-up. Don't overdress but dress enough to show you're serious about the whole thing.

And BEFORE you put on your nice clothes, go take a shower and don't overdo it with perfumes or perfumed soaps. You want to be noticed but not fled.

Take special care of your mouth. It needs to be very clean, especially if you intend on landing a kiss. A clean mouth is a baseline for any date, even after the first one. That point is basically non-negotiable. So get flossing and brushing before you meet.

Once you're clean and dressed for success, you'll feel good and you'll know it's time to head out to your date — as mentioned above, be there on time and a bit before, if you can.

Be on the lookout for your date and act with utter respect, unless you're not being respected in which case, you're always free to leave. A simple "it's not working out" should suffice.

So there you go, no need to go over the no smoking, no drinking and no drugs rules because they're so obvious so if you follow these easy steps and your own feelings, things should go just fine.

Have yourself a wonderful date!

Alcohol doesn't help healthy dating habits

If you're like most people, dating should be something to practice seriously because, after all, your future mate is the prize of this small-scale social exploration.

Bringing love into your life should come with a lot of positive things but when alcohol is added to mix, it just makes everything complicated.

Why is alcohol such a danger?

For starters, alcohol can kill you, if not properly dosed. If it doesn't kill you quickly from an overdose, it can still kill you slowly, robbing you of your life essence.

But it gets worse.

That alcohol you ingest does you no good, whatsoever. Some people might infer a more relaxed state from alcohol but that could be achieved in so many other ways, without any side-effects so why pay so much for alcohol and have inconvenient side-effects, including death? Well, some people are big on alcohol's taste and perhaps, the state of lightheadedness it provides.

While some people like to forget by drugging themselves with enough alcohol (to get to that point), it's clear that the individual is felling reality and as such, this behaviour can't become a solid foundation for a healthy relationship.

Yes, some people who happen to like alcohol will sometimes find that habit binds their relationship but in and of itself, it typically comes with a cost in terms of health, self-respect and connectedness to reality... their own and that of others.

Almost everybody knows (or has known) alcoholics who left us too soon or who just missed huge parts of their own lives. What good did alcohol do for them?

While so many people drinking alcohol aren't alcoholics, there needs to be clear personal guidelines for everyone so that drinking doesn't morph into a worse problem than it already is. For some, it's easy but others, that's a real fight that drains energy, all the time.

So if you're looking to display healthy dating habits, get the alcohol out of the way or at least, make sure to consume alcohol responsibly. Less being best.

You're smart so you figure out what fits you best but at the very least, have an educated reflection on alcohol and it's many effects on both you and those around you.

You're worth so much more than a version of yourself weakened by alcohol. Whoever you are, alcohol's endgame for you is just bad news.

Don't date and smoke

If you're in any way sensible to your date, you won't smoke in his or her presence.

Dating should happen in a way that makes both participants comfortable and smoking will just ruin a moment that's crucial in determining if there a future for what's being experienced (as a first meet-up).

Smoking is obviously bad for your health (and deadly, let's not forget that) but it's also poison for your mind. Smoking is toxic all around so smoking while dating will send the message you don't mind intoxicating yourself, first and foremost while also hurting others.

However you try to justify smoking, it always comes down to having poor judgement and little (or no) respect for others, even when dating which implies the other participant has expressed some level of interest, in you.

A cigarette will never be a "positive" in your life. It'll never make you shine or look cool. You just look dumb and somewhat easy to manipulate. And chances are, you're way better than that so why risk so much by smoking? It makes no sense so take it upon yourself to never smoke, especially not when on a date.

Smelling bad, looking silly and harming yourself and others just doesn't make sense in general but it's even worse in a dating context.

Be yourself, be respectful and love yourself enough to never, ever smoke.

Your entire life is an experience in free will but it doesn't mean you should choose the very worst, for yourself and those you happen to love.

Truth is a winning strategy

When you're sitting behind a computer screen, it can be tempting to stray from the truth to gain attention from people looking at your profile or posts.

Now while this strategy will probably land you more attention, it's a losing strategy because two very sad things have happened, one being you lied to yourself and in turn, you also lied to others.

While they'll reward your lie with attention, you'll eventually be confronted to that lie in a way that it will likely cause an interested party to lose trust in you, often times at that crucial moment when trust is being built, at the beginning of a relationship.

It's entirely possible that your small and not so small lies will fly right under everyone's radar while delivering you added benefits (starting with more attention, usually), you're still lying to yourself and that's just bad.

Even if you can live with your lies, it just messes up an otherwise straightforward message which, in and of itself, was probably best suited to provide you with attention from the right crowd, for the right reasons.

You might be tempted to dabble around with truth and some lies cleverly added to provide you with benefits but looking forward is always easier when you don't always have to look back to make sure your lies don't eventually backfire.

Yes, truth is still a cornerstone of relationships that work and then, keep on working.

Get some sleep before a meet-up

Needless to say, if you're tired when the moment comes for a meet-up with the person you're looking to date and get to know, it'll show and you'll probably waste a highly strategic opportunity to look your best and act accordingly.

Getting some rest is easy, you sleep every night (at least, it's how it should be) and before a meet-up, you do exactly the same but for a shorter while.

After sleeping, you'll be thinking straight and feeling great.

Without even trying, you'll come across as being more intense and that'll score you significant compliments, on the spot or later on but it'll definitely play for you.

If you feel stressed about your meet-up, sleeping will help dissipate that often needless anxiety. By have some sleep, your body will have more energy and that'll boost your confidence.

Great things all around regarding your first meet-up and those afterwards if you only reserve some much needed time to sleep. Yep, sleeping before to be your best, while it counts!

Follow your inner voice

If you take anything from this blog, this needs to be it.

You actually have an inner voice and even though you might have missed it, being too busy trying to find some normalized social standard, you will become one with yourself the moment you pay attention to your intuitive realm.

Some people date without being aware they already know if a relationship might come of a given courtship but you, being properly advised, will quickly decide to proceed or not.

Dating is an important part of reaching out for a mate who will help you be happier and perhaps, more complete. Whenever you date, be sure to switch your listening of your inner voice because you're sure to win precious time when evaluating if there's any value for you in taking that next step with that potentially interesting person you're courting.

Easy enough and entirely free, your inner voice is just waiting for you to be aware of it.

It might seem obvious but look around, lots of people aren't paying attention!